Tuesday, September 4, 2007

We all live - where?!

My response to We All Live in LA at KosherTorah.Com

No way- it matters where u live! it matters that i made aliyah and don't regret it. It matters that your body is in Jerusalem. I left LA, physically and mentally. The yetzer Harah makes you think that leaving LA mentally is enough, but it really, really isn't!!!!

Avodah Zarah is insidious, even here, in Eretz Hakadosh! Physically the work is changing, intellectually the world is changing, psychologically the word is changing!

No way. It matters. With all respect, it matters. The Jewish people must change, grow and learn Torah. We need to worry about Ahavat Yisrael, about shmirat halashon, about keeping Shabbat. IT matters.

Sunday, August 5, 2007

My Son Will Be A Soldier

Son#1 is going to his first appointment with the IDF induction officials. He'll be processed. Physical, psychometric testing and personal interviews.

I am nervous. I know that my son wants this, I know that he has goals to be career military. This is the end of our lives together. I got to be his daily dose of love. I loved him to maturity, I dared him to be better, to be more than he thought he could be. Now, I get to see if all the years have been effective. I am going to miss him so much next year and then for the years following.
He is attending a pre-army program. This program is four hours away, and I will not see him more than once a month. Then he'll come home for the summer and to the army next August. Actually - if my son has his way, he'll be in the Air Force. He's a super hero- a real life great warrior, and all around amazing guy.

This country better get itself together, I don't want to loose him. I have this deep fear that he's here only temporarily. Like Hashem will say Son#1's done his job, and now He wants my son back. I don't want to loose him. What Zionistic mom doesn't go through the same thing? Yet, something nags at me still.

I know, it will all be okay. It will. B'ezrat Hashem.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Condi & the DOW

Condi says give up YESHA. The DOW falls 400 points! Coincidence? NO.

JEWS come home, please. please come home. Forget the USA. They are not allies, with friends like these...
Good, righteous Jews, fellow chosen of Avinu Sh'Bashamayim- we need you to come home. Roshim gedolim, come home. Precious brothers and sisters, come home. Now, while you still have something to bring with you and can leave of your own free will.
We need your voices here, we need your strength to build, grow and lead. We can do this- united as one.
JUST DO IT! yes, You can.

YESHA is your home too. It is your home. Really, there is a document - called the TORAH! Check it out.


Wednesday, July 18, 2007

oy- it's good news

My other sister is expecting a baby- b'ezrat Hashem. She too is moving to Los Angeles. My brother's wife is expecting soon- in LA.

All my siblings will be in Los Angeles, and I will not. There will be many reasons to rejoice and I won't be there.

I have this land. I have Israel. I have faith that Hashem will give me many, many reasons to smile in the next year.

For now- This is hard. Everything is going to be alright. Hashem- please give me the strength to bear this discomfort. Everything is going to be great.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

internal conflicts

In the early part of the week, I spent a day with my dear, beloved cousin. She is older and far wiser than I. She is blessed with family and grandchildren around her and gracing her home with constant activity. G-d Almighty hears her and answers her prayers. After visiting with my family, I longed to be closer to them. I longed to have this type of life. I came home ready to beg my husband to move. I even went so far as to tell him about the insecurity I feel about his traveling on the road... honestly, I try not to think about that . I think we will think about it for the next year. Yesha has been home, and I wish I were closer to my family. The internal conflict is a struggle.

My sister is moving to L.A. for a year, for the kids jewish education, for family, for friends. For all the reasons I moved to Israel. I am not surprised. But the negative influence creeps in with the news, and I am jealous of her ability to find what she's looking for and not have to leave Family and friends- but she gains it. I wanted to live by the Good Graces of the most Compassionate, our Father in Heaven. Alan and I wanted our children to live Jewishly in our Land... I felt that the move, loosing the comfort of a daily human support system (my aunt, mom and friends) was Kapparah- "payment" and that I would be a better vessel for Hashem's kindness, His generosity, His teachings and His Light. It's been a hard week.

I miss my family in Los Angeles. I miss girlfriends, girls-night out, and their babies. The babies nieces and nephews, cousins and friends, oh- how I miss and long to kiss and cuddle them. My brother's wife is expecting their first. As I said, it's been a hard week.

I look to our Father in Heaven. I beg for His comfort and Love. I pray he sends us what we need to live well here in his Home, in our home.

I am only a human and I am sad because I miss my family and friends. i want to stay here, but I want to be there too.

I am here almost a year, by Hashem's Goodness. And now, I am "homesick". Internal conflicts.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Too Long!

oh, it has been too long- forgive me. My family and life have gotten busier than I imagined and more amazing each passing day. Baruch Hashem - He is my Father, he gives me everything he thinks I need.

I am writing today, because I am listening to the madness of this gov't in Israel. I am torn, when elections come- do I vote? I don't want to contribute to the insanity and the choses for leadership are lacking at best, dangerous at worst.

My son will be going to the army next year, I worry about the people leading him. I am not rich, I can't just buy him the best of equipment, the best of everything. And the jewish mother's lament- what if they don't feed him?!

Seriously though, I think that if we stop to consider what is going on, we will see the cause and effect that is occurring in Israel. Example, Olmert announces that he's happy to give the Golan to Syria for peace... then in Gaza, there is a severe, small battle to avoid an incursion of terrorists and kidnapping of more of our soldiers. Coincidence? Really? I don't believe in it. Hashem, orchestrates the world. He sent this message. But Olmert won't listen, he is too arrogant and power driven to hear.

Living in Yesha, I see the way our world works. I see that our lives are dependent on our emunah and Hashem. We are safe on the whole, but we know that it's only due to Hashem's good graces. It's not hard to live, when you know that the kindest One is looking out for you.

I have a lot more on my mind. Lots. I hope to post more often. It's just getting harder to get the time to sit and get it done!

May Hashem bless you and yours.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

New Blog and Misc thoughts

found this today... http://countdowntoredemption.blogspot.com/

yep, there are people who "get it"... Baruch Hashem!

I read RabbiLazer, Nava, RabbiAkiva, Yeranen Yaakov, Reb Dov Bar Leib, and others.

I found all of them- amazingly AFTER my family made Aliyah this past summer... coincidence, I think not.

But sadly, my dreams have stopped. I pray that they return.